Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Randomize
