fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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