i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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