See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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