You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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