all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
