I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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