haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
So here I am, sexting at work.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
