i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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