Midget sex pt 2 tonight
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
As shirtless as possible
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Randomize
