East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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