Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
