who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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