another moral hangover. fuck.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize