I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
