it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
