are you so shy because you have an std?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
