I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
