one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
What a dumb baby whore.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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