my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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