So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
we're so committed to being not committed
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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