the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
