there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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