You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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