bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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