is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
