Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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