I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
