If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
