Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
