Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
