Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
