Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
