I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I think my fart just growled at me.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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