Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
