Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
This baby is an asshole
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
