Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
