"it" just moved
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
