HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
