I'm drive I can fine osifer
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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