there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
