Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
operation have a gay friend backfired
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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