11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize