And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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