6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
i think i just lost a toe
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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