you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
