Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Randomize
