it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
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