so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
