What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
well you can't waste a boner
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
