Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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