I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Randomize
