Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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