Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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